Okay Mami's out there...this newbie Mami needs some support, encouragement and maybe a little assurance that I am a "normal, un-perfect Mami"...
I've been a Mami now for ALMOST five month (can it be that long already?) and though I grew up in a large family, babysat a TON (was even a nanny for 18 months - full time!) AND have worked with at-risk, at times disrespectful and often challenging teens for over 6 years - some days I feel like such a novice at being a Mom!
I want to do things right - from my demeanor with my family, to our style of discipline, to how I keep our house, to the nutrition in our home, to raising our children with Christian spiritual guidance to putting my children and husband first to never letting my selfishness creep in to any of the above. And as I look at the list of who I want to be and what I want to excel in as a wife and mom, I KNOW that I fail at that every day.
Some days I go to bed thinking that while I still wasn't quite perfect, I hit the mark pretty good that day on who I want to be as a wife and Mami. But other days - like yesterday - I went to bed thinking that I missed the mark in many ways! I think the one that bothers me the most is when I forget about having patience and grace and get immediately 'hooked' when my child misbehaves or my husband's innocent comment about something I took personally suddenly causes me to react like a child. Then I'm quick to raise my voice or show frustration in my demeanor to my husband or the children, wanting at that moment only what would benefit ME - not what is the best for my children/husband. Nearly always after a selfish moment (or hour or day) like that I always culminate with feeling guilty at my attitude or behavior...who is the child here anyway?! Then my mind spirals into worrying that a raised voice or a biting comment or even an extended time out (as much for my benefit as for the child!) will cause irreperable damage to my child's psyche! :) (not that we're talking anything major here in case you've begun to worry...more just me worrying myself to the nth degree about the consequences or damage from every perceived parental mistake I make...which are many!)
So Mami's of my blog-o-sphere...leave a comment if you feel led...I'd love to hear if I am way out in left field (I'll find a professional to guide me back to home base) or a normal newbie Mami trying to figure it all out (and get used to sharing my time, resources and home with 3 new & wonderful additions). Also, if you have any time-tested suggestions for how to keep from getting 'hooked' and keeping an even-keel demeanor instead even when your child has done something for the 400th time that they KNOW they shouldn't...I would appreciate comments of that nature as well!
I've also put a banner on the side of my blog called Motivation for Moms. I saw it on someone elses blog and mostly put it on my blog for myself (there I go being selfish again...) :) but you may find it encouraging and helpful too!
8 months ago