Friday, July 31, 2009

New Beginnings...

Yes, I've been a sporadic blogger since our children came home...and that may remain to be the case. But don't give up on me - I will show up here still...whether it be frequently or infrequently!

I'm beginning my second day as a full-time stay-at-home mom. It feels like the first though, as I was still wrapping up some details at my previous job yesterday too.

Leaving my job was bittersweet. I worked for this non-profit Christian organization serving high risk hurting teens and families ( for over 8 years in a lot of different roles. Most recently it was the Recruiting Coordinator - involving recruiting and hiring new staff and interns for the organization. But, as is true with many companies and non-profits, funds are tight and due to some other staff changes there was a re-organization made for some corporate office positions. In that reorganization my position was eliminated.

The irony of it, though, is that Robert and I have felt convicted, or called, to homeschool our children this next year and beyond if need be due to their educational challenges and the inability for the public school they attend to be able to give the attention to their academic needs in the way that is necessary to help the kiddos really get through some of their learning hurdles with reading and writing in particular. But being a two-income family that has gone through some significant economic challenges of our own this past year, we didn't know if we could swing losing my income and benefits. But we kept praying and seeking God's affirmation and direction. In the course of time I knew that God was solidly letting us know 'yes, homeschooling your children is the new ministry role I want you to move into' - but the fear that comes with financial challenges had worked itself into a knot in the pit of my stomach and the 'what-ifs' were running rampant through my head.

However one Wednesday in early June I listened to a speaker talk about his 'Surprise Me God' experiment. As I listened to his stories of how God surprised him, I found myself praying silently "Lord Jesus, I believe you have called me to homeschool my children. But I am afraid. I'm afraid to leave the security of my job and the steady income and benefits it brings with it. Lord I'm even more afraid that I will let my fear keep me from doing something you have called me to." Then, like Gideon putting out his fleece, I prayed "Lord, please help me with this. Just MAKE IT HAPPEN so I cannot chicken out and let my fear control me. I need your help with this Lord. If it is right, make it happen."

That very afternoon, much to my surprise, my boss called me into his office to let me know about the above restructuring and the elimination of my position. Though this was not how I expected God to answer my prayer above, it was clearly 'making it happen' and though it would have been easy to let anxiety rush in, it didn't. I knew this was God's affirmation of 'yes, this is right for you and yes, I will take care of you.'

The next 6 weeks that followed until my end date passed in a flash and though my last day was two days ago, I still don't feel like I am done. But my mind, energies and 'new normal' will gradually shift into my new positions of homemaker, homeschool teacher, business assistant to my husband and hopefully (fingers crossed) budding freelance writer and novelist.

Which reminds to-do list for this 'new normal' begins with a few whoppers...

1 - Organize the home office (it was a bit of a chore to get to my seat at my desk this morning...massive organization and decluttering is needed!)

2 - Prep for a garage sale in a couple of weeks

3 - Put together my full year homeschool schedule and get paperwork completed to send in to the State.

As they say in Minnesota...Uff-Da! Better get to work! More from me - WITH PICTURES - soon!

PS - if you are a reader and not my Facebook friend, look me up!


Hannah said...

I've begun to realize that those who sporadically update are those who are living life in the real world! Don't be afraid to let your virtual world fade. :)

Laura S said...

Congrats on your new adventure! Good luck with cleaning up your office...when you finish can you come do mine? LOL!

LaDonna said...

Holly you are a true woman of God, and I love that about you:) you will be great at this new journey!!

Brenda said...

It's amazing how God answers prayers, isn't it? I have no doubt that He will continue to provide for your family. We'll miss you at the office, but we're all so excited for your "new adventure" as a homeschooling mom.